waiting to see

It's daylight savings once again, and I can't sleep. This weekend has been a bit surreal. Like living back in 2007 when Avery was still my flatmate and I was still at uni. I came home on fri night shattered and slept, woke up, ate a small dinner and slept once again. Got up on saturday to rain, cold and as i did back then...spent the weekend alone. It's a strange feeling once you've gotten used to being attached at the hip with a (new) friend. What am I going to do today? Shall I catch up with people I've been too busy to see? or shall I revel in my aloneness by cooking, eating, reading and leaving the house in a mess? Even shopping at Bondi was boring without her. Awwww =P I think i need a hobby. And i ignored the 10 pages of writing i had to do, no surprises there considering the fact that i define the word procrastinate.

In a way it was good tho. Otherwise I would've chewed her ear off all weekend about what to do with my life. Coz although thursday was good, and this week promises to be too, i still ultimately don't know.

Go back to uni? yeah suffer another 2 years of lectures, rushed assignments, late nights and stress - but have time to sleep, go gym, breathe a bit etc etc.

Stay in my current job? bide my time for another year, go through bouts of downness, boredom, mundane repetition, with a few interesting highlights here and there, but ultimately no growth or promotion.

Get a new job? start at the bottom again, be the new grunt again, have more contact with the real world, get more enjoyment by helping the innocent with their financial problems, with more job progression and growth.

Get a new career? go back to hospitality, open a Coffee Bean or a cafe of my own, suffer the 18 hr days, no staff, rising expenses, but do what I ultimately like to do in serving people, but find completely unstimulating, with the hope that my endeavour is successful and i continue to open more to develop a little kingdom of my own. cafejodie in all its glory.

I need advice and no one i know can give it. No one is senior or experienced enough to tell me what i want to know. everyone says the same thing. bide it out, give it time. my question is what's the point when you already know what is at the end of the tunnel. you're not waiting to see, you've seen and now are just waiting. why?

its 13 degrees outside. no wonder i'm cold.