caféjodie

goodbye dear muse

2008-12-28T20:27:00.006+11:00

It's weird being back in kl when noone's around, it's like resuming a life when three quarters of the parts are missing. When people lose limbs their mind still feels attached, it generates ghosts to fill the gaps. Instead of imaginary friends, my mind's created homesickness...for sun and sand that i never thought i'd pine for.

Being here is suffocating. I've never noticed it before, nor considered that a simple bus outside my door offers me so much more than I ever realised. I can shop, I can have coffee bean but really endlessness of the same shoes and moroccan mint lattes get tedious, and my patience and tolerance have matchingly dropped with rises in rudeness, ignorance and poor service.

Where are the late night mamak calls for Devi's at Hartamas? The adventures for seafood in Teluk Gong? The all night ghost drives? The girlie chats in my room? My magharibi3, SkyBambi and Sculpted Bone?

I've done what I came here to do. It's time to go.

interlude

2008-10-07T00:49:00.001+11:00

i think it's interesting that my writing goes through bouts of correct capital usage and punctuation, and then other times, its like my mind isn't interested in being grammatically correct. instead when i'm up it's all good, and when i'm down it's all lazy, or when i'm serious its all lazy but when i'm being fun i make the effort.

what's with that? coz it carries over into the title space too.

waiting to see

2008-10-06T23:47:00.007+11:00

It's daylight savings once again, and I can't sleep. This weekend has been a bit surreal. Like living back in 2007 when Avery was still my flatmate and I was still at uni. I came home on fri night shattered and slept, woke up, ate a small dinner and slept once again. Got up on saturday to rain, cold and as i did back then...spent the weekend alone. It's a strange feeling once you've gotten used to being attached at the hip with a (new) friend. What am I going to do today? Shall I catch up with people I've been too busy to see? or shall I revel in my aloneness by cooking, eating, reading and leaving the house in a mess? Even shopping at Bondi was boring without her. Awwww =P I think i need a hobby. And i ignored the 10 pages of writing i had to do, no surprises there considering the fact that i define the word procrastinate.

In a way it was good tho. Otherwise I would've chewed her ear off all weekend about what to do with my life. Coz although thursday was good, and this week promises to be too, i still ultimately don't know.

Go back to uni? yeah suffer another 2 years of lectures, rushed assignments, late nights and stress - but have time to sleep, go gym, breathe a bit etc etc.

Stay in my current job? bide my time for another year, go through bouts of downness, boredom, mundane repetition, with a few interesting highlights here and there, but ultimately no growth or promotion.

Get a new job? start at the bottom again, be the new grunt again, have more contact with the real world, get more enjoyment by helping the innocent with their financial problems, with more job progression and growth.

Get a new career? go back to hospitality, open a Coffee Bean or a cafe of my own, suffer the 18 hr days, no staff, rising expenses, but do what I ultimately like to do in serving people, but find completely unstimulating, with the hope that my endeavour is successful and i continue to open more to develop a little kingdom of my own. cafejodie in all its glory.

I need advice and no one i know can give it. No one is senior or experienced enough to tell me what i want to know. everyone says the same thing. bide it out, give it time. my question is what's the point when you already know what is at the end of the tunnel. you're not waiting to see, you've seen and now are just waiting. why?

its 13 degrees outside. no wonder i'm cold.

Jack & The Beanstalk

2008-09-06T13:21:00.001+10:00

I read my own blog this morning. That's got to be one of the vainest things one can do. But I was amazed at the date of my last post! 28th of May! MAY! A quarter of a year ago.That's not good.

Part of me knew this would happen when I started a blog because I'm terrible at keeping diaries and that's essentially what a blog is. But I didn't expect it to be this bad. Oh well, life goes on.

I tried something new over the past few months. Went in a totally different direction to what I normally would. Interestingly some thought it was good that I was going for almost a complete opposite, others gave it a/the/some benefit of a doubt, (how do you use that phrase in writing?), but thought essentially that it wouldn't work. But yeah, maybe it's not a good idea to experiment on people. Although, if not explicitly,they knew it was an experiment too.

The thing is - it didn't teach me much. I learnt the same things I could've learnt being in the experience than being out of it looking in, and I wonder why? Was it that the person didn't open me up as much as I thought they would - because in general I can't be defined as being narrow minded once I remove fear from the equation. Or was it because I felt limited and restricted by being with them. Realistically I think it was the second.

How can people go about life with their heads in the sky? This is something that I've never understood. People should be grounded. We live on the ground, we live in reality. We see reality pass us by everyday and still so many are oblivious or ignore society around them. They should know what they want in life and go out there and achieve it. Doesn't matter what speed that achievement is and what they have to sacrifice to get it (as long as they can provide for their needs in the meantime).

Yes there will be obstructions and failures along the way. And maybe what you want will change or morph as you go along and that's alright, but ultimately people need to CLIMB THEIR OWN LADDER! There's no point in being alive if you don't learn and grow and develop with life. (I'm not suggesting suicide here, I'm just pointing out one of the distinct advantages of being alive in the first place). So grow already! You've planted your seeds and developed your roots, all you need now is to get on with life they way you're supposed to.

Pressing the Snooze Button

2008-05-29T00:22:00.003+10:00

It's been a while since I've written anything and I find it weird that as soon as I open a blank post, all the things I wanted to say don't seem so important anymore. Maybe it's because I don't feel as eloquent at midnight than at 2am but I also think I'm sorta feeling a weird nostalgia at the moment.

Uni is almost at a close. Only 2 more days of class and 3 exams and I'm done. For a long time. Although I hate going, tolerating tuts, listening to boring lectures and stressing about assignments and exams, there is something really satisfying about educating youself and earning distinctions. Its one of the only times in your life where your ability is actually measured and rewarded, rather than being subjectively indicated by your dress sense, skill at maneovering office politics and perservearance for working late nights without overtime.

I know I sound down about the whole graduation thing, but I really am excited to finally become a suit. It does come with its perks and as ms vine and rockychu are aware, my wardrobe is getting a full makeover. Dealing with impertinent and useless retail staff is one pet peeve I will bitch about later...right now I have to go polish my shoes and hang up my new dress for tommorrows 7am start. Sweet Dreams

bread and jam

2008-04-09T00:41:00.003+10:00

I've been trying to make bread recently. I know it sounds easy but I want it to be really good. Like Artisan Bakery good. Like Corinna Chapman good. So I began by making a starter. Just add equal amounts of tepid water and flour to a steralised jar with a few spoons of sugar and let nature do its work. Every day tip half of it out and repeat process until starter smells yeasty, has doubled in size and looks spongey. Then use as yeast to make bread. Simple. Not so.

Ensure jar, spoon, and every stirring device imaginable is steralised first (ie boil for 10 mins in water and dry in 160c oven. Use expensive organic unbleached flour to ensure you have right mix of natural "good" bacteria and are not reliant on natural "bad" bacteria to send your mix to Mars. Try using warm distilled or non chlorinated water for maximum effect. But how did eighteenth century bakers achieve beautiful sourdoughs when they did none of the above? Please explain that to me, Mr Muffin Man.

So I moved on to jam and marmalade instead. And easy it was indeed! All you need are equal amounts of fruit and sugar, a lemon to ensure setting, some steralised jars and a few hours to kill. It's slow burning but oh so good gratification. Simply cut fruit to size, add juice of half lemon and pips in a coffee filter, simmer with enough water to cover at no deeper than 3cm. Then when the fruit is at the softness level you'd like, measure quantity in pan and add 1/2 to equal amount in sugar, simmer again until your jam coats the back of a spoon and sets easily on a frozen saucer. Bottle and you're done. Why people resort to store bought Cottees or Kraft jam I don't know, because this is the best stuff I've ever tasted and its easier than boiling an egg.

I wouldn't even mind being the local jam lady distributing jam kisses instead of jelly.

Milo Kau!

2008-04-08T00:41:00.002+10:00

ms vine and I have been busy recently - LOTR marathons, christening shiny new trainers, cooking up a curry-puff-flavoured storm and stargazing. Mostly stargazing. As the weather begins to get frigid its so nice to walk late at night, puffing out steam, wrapped up in scarves; "Look there's Orion!", "Thats not Orion! its huge!", "Nah look I swear thats his belt!", hehe "I bet you that's a satellite! See how its red and flashing and moving", "Sooo not moving", "But still!"

And still it is. So still that couples can lie on the road and stargaze together. Or bats can suddenly fly out of bushes straight at you and be attacked by ms vine's shooting umbrella. Or ballerinas can float above the stage perfectly balanced, in a myriad of poses, each held by their partner while the audience holds their breath.

Stillness is serene.

Sunrise to Sunset

2008-01-31T20:48:00.000+11:00

A few months ago I set about collecting these images partially as a remeberance of uni as my days left are few, but also because I admire the images and the code that goes with it. At night campus is dark but still busy - hence image 3, then at dawn and dusk the image switches to image 2, which unless you happen to be logged on between the hours of 5-6am/pm you'll never see. So here's a toast to the interface designer. Beautiful work to light the most mediocre of days.

its beginning to look a lot like christmas

2007-11-28T04:18:00.000+11:00

with the nutcracker playing outside dj's, santa's driving buses through the city and starbucks' pretty crimson christmas cups, theres no excuse for me not to get into christmas early this year. plus, the department stores of this crazy place had their decorations up in september! SEPTEMBER i tell you!

therefore due to popular demand, i have decided to post my christmas wish on cafejodie. some of these are unfulfilled reoccurring events, while others are new due to new circumstances and new releases. In addition I have a wish list on Amazon which lists all the books, movies, n music i have an inkling for .

...so the list begins

small salad spinner
mortar & pestle
grater/zester
queen bed sheet set
room fragrance diffusing sticks

harry potter 5 dvd
justin timberlake crazysex|lovesound concert dvd
Australian ballet season tickets
Body Shop new vanilla &/or ginger bubble bath
Emporio Armani's Diamonds perfume

Marie Claire Zest, Flavours, or Spice
Womens Weekly "Cook"

A Poison Tree

2007-11-19T01:44:00.000+11:00

I'm reading a Phryne Fisher detective story by Kerry Greenwood at the moment, and this has led me to rediscover a schoolage passion of mine - the poetry of William Blake. Now I'm no goth, satanist or super christian, but the language and imagery of Blake just gives me the shivers. The first poem I ever read was A Poison Tree in The Songs of Innocence (1789) and Experience (1794), which dealt with the innocence and joy of the natural world, advocating free love and a closer relationship with god, and then the loss of innocence after exposure to the material world and all of the mortal sin of adult life. The thing I love most about his work, is his imagery. The short sharp but perfect lines of flowing rhythm and the almost nursery rhyme feel. His poems taunt, warn, comfort and advise all at once, twisting the way a mind contemplates good and evil. The second best thing is his art. Every poem comes on a plate illustrated by him and glows with the patina of time. In the same rustic way that pieces by William Morris touch me in their hand worked perfection, Blake is the same - just a hundred years earlier.

Are you free for a coffee?

2007-10-11T04:56:00.000+10:00

I did an unthinkable thing tonight. You're probably hoping I jiggled the Professor but unfortunately no...instead I had a coffee from McCafe. Several years ago, during those desolate nights in interiors, I turned to Macca's to keep me awake in the wee hours, and my latte was so vile I vowed never to drink the stuff again. I remember it vividly - it was boiling, burnt and bitter. Horrible stuff, badly frothed and so bubbly you could bathe in it.

Tonight's coffee however, was a different story. Creamy, smooth and hot enough to last the walk back to campus without scalding the tongue and burning the senses. Neither did my heart pound nor my body buzz once having consumed this fine beverage (not that I need any additional stimulants where matters of the heart are concerned). Too bad it didn't really help my understanding of Logit and Probit though, but we can't have everything.

So I'm posting something I wrote while studying Literature during A-Levels. I have a strong affinity with cafe culture and a certain Coffee Bean beverage which I pine for occasionally. Sometimes Starbucks just doesn't do.

Patron of Coffee

A turn of the sign, another day
In the life of a lonely.
The door opens, and lights – on,
The newspaper arrives.

A man sits, regular in aspect,
Not in mind. His café latte,
Is placed afore him. One flick –
The cig is lit.

He is waiting, waiting for something
No one knows. A girl, a guy, a job, a day
As his latte cools – Diurnal.

sleepless in sydney

2007-10-10T04:33:00.000+10:00

Unfortunately I seem to have spent another sleepless night, lying in oblivion, while the birds wake at 4am, and the buses begin their brickie pickup. I feel dead, my eyes have met the sandman and yet, all he did was nod and continue on his merry way. Why is this? Does anyone know? I am not menopausal, although my body clock seems to have reset itself to Greenwich Meridian Time, nor am I stressed, worried or saturated with variants of caffeine. I have tried everything recently: chammomile tea, warm milk, exercise, reading, watching a movie, staying up all night to tire myself out and nothing works!

Only when the sun has risen and the birds taken flight does my body think it needs some rest, but even now I have class in 4 hours!!!

sun, skirts & slingbacks

2007-10-07T16:43:00.000+10:00

It being Sunday, I thought it might be time for a recap of this weekends events . We've had 35 degree heat, searing sun, gusting winds and now glorious drizzle with the hint of thunder in the distance. So aptly needed in such times, the accessories of the moment have ranged from my bikini, sarong, sunnies and comfy thongs, to an umbrella, cardigan and scarf a la Grace Kelly...my wardrobe is a mess!

In search of some respite from the craziness of our meterological system I headed down to the Myer sale yesterday (at the very ungodly hour of 9am) to laybuy some bargains for my new summer internship (SCORE!) On the way I picked up the perfect work tote...classic in shape and style and in the go with everything colour of subtle taupe. The next mission was to find a black skirt...not so easy to achieve when the reign of high waisted apparel is in full glory. But as a friend aptly put it, anything with waistline in the region of normalcy was just way too "auntie" to be seen in apparently. So after deliberating between 3 very similar fabric constructions, a rather fitting and extremely elegant high waisted black skirt was laybuyed (or laybought? semantics anyone) and we quickly left before Marcus was to convince me of anything else. To give the guy (and the skirt) some credit, it does make my legs & arse look fantastic so I'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end! =P

Beware David Jones' discounts are higher than Myer's at the moment, so don't be caught with your cash out!

Apart from that, the fashion this season is dismal, thank god I'll be in the office most of the season. Our only saviours are the maxi and mini dresses best found in the less mainstream stores of Bondi and Coogee. Even then they're only appropriate to wear to dinners, parties and clubs, so what are we meant to wear on recovery from Sun - Thur? Highlighter yellow oversized tees and pink leggings anyone?

ironic deviants

2007-10-06T06:06:00.000+10:00

i thought this was fitting in the context of my last post...the irony of an image found before the moment *sigh* i spend a lot of time on deviant, trawling through the trash (ah the beauty of alliteration) to find spectacular wallpapers and photographic pieces. such are the reminders of a field i gave up to further my studies in finance. if you search hard enough you might even find some of my works.

english breakfast & earl grey

2007-10-06T02:11:00.000+10:00

What do you do when you're attracted to an older guy, who happens to be your professor? I mean I'm not talking about someone who's old enough to be my father, he's just under the limit of the 10 year boundary, its the professor bit thats more of the problem.

I still have 6 months left of my degree, plus a Masters to complete, where he is very likely to be one of my advisers. Apart from this, he's very well known in the industry I'm about to launch a career in and people will talk - we have both our reputations to uphold. Conceited I know but true.

The feeling is mutual I'm sure of it, the little things he says and does; "you're looking very 'spring' today", noticing me through a crowd in the city, flicking a bug off my shoulder while we're having tea, buying me tea for that matter. The quantity of his hint dropping is phenomenal, but at the same time never dodgy.

We both know nothing can happen until next year but that hasn't stopped me lying in bed all day dreaming....this is insane! I feel so inadequate next to a 34 yr old finance professional!